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But my attitude about dating has become more hopeful, as I’ve gotten more comfortable in my body, and used to making decisions that feel supportive to myself.
This June, for instance, I attended the Philadelphia Trans Health Conference for the first time.
In my case (and perhaps for many trans folks), going online for potential romance felt like a safe first step in cultivating my new, authentic self—in being able to reach out to others as the man that I was and am.
Plus, since I live in a small community, there aren’t many opportunities to date and less of a selection of potential partners.
Short on words, the post simply read, “Hi.” I admit, I balked.
There were definitely sparks flying, but she explained that she was just getting over a very difficult relationship and needed time to heal. We both agreed it was not our time and that there might be potential for some kind of connection at some point in the future.
I planned to meet up with some trans guys who were members of a Facebook page I belonged to.
I had not met any of them, but we are a very tight-knit group online, and I was excited about meeting.
Part of me is tempted to say this is universal—that everyone kind of hates it. Of course, I didn’t self-identify as a woman inside—so that part wasn’t easy.
Looking back, it seems dating was much easier when I was a cis-gendered female, rather than it is now that I am an out trans guy.
Furthermore, there tends not to be much flexibility when it comes to stating your sexual orientation.